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Blood Sucking Freaks(1976 / R)
Before I get to reviewing this film I have to explain how I came across it's existance. I was attending a Misfits concert several years ago, and they had a movie screen above the stage where they were playing clips of old horror movies throughout there set. I knew most of the clips, however there came to be on the screen a clip that I did not recognize. A person of small stature was spanking a lady who's head was in a guillotine. The lady was holding the rope ,that would let the guillotine fall, in her mouth! She eventually cried out from being spanked and the guillotine came crashing down to sever her head from body! Brilliant! Only problem was I had no idea what movie this clip was from! So I went home and hopped on the internet and typed in the following search on yahoo: "midget" "guillotine" "spanking" Now in the history of the internet how many times do you think that search has been entered? Probably never. The very first page that came up was a site about spanking scenes in movies... and it let me to the wonder Blood Sucking Freaks
The pinnacle of trash/sleaze/exploitation horror, Blood Sucking Freaks is probably unwatchable for a lot of people. Nobody today has the balls to make a movie like this, and until they do this movie deserves a full 5 Bruce Campbell rating for being at the top of it's class. Now please don't confuse this for meaning this is a "good" movie... it's not... it's trash.. it's bad... it's terrible... but it's oh so enjoyable!
The "plot" revolves around Sardu's theater of the Macabre. He, along w/ his tiny assistant Ralphus, basically tortures and murders women on stage in front of a live audience. The audience the whole while thinks this is just an act... just trashy performance art.
Most of the movie shows the many different sadistic ways that Sardu and Ralphus torture these women. This movie is as un PC as can possibly be, and there's no way in hell Hollywood would EVER greenlight a movie like this anymore.
The other "plot" line involves Sardu's obsession w/ kidnapping a world famous ballet dancer and making her dance for him. All the while the ballerina's star football QB boyfriend and a sleazy New York detective search for her, and uncover that Sardu is actually running a whit slavery business out of his theater.
But you don't really need to care about the plot, cuz really who cares? It's about the insane future porn star Ralphus... it's about the naked dancing cannibal women... and it's about the cold cock sandwich!
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